whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
