I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
