i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Swine flu is the new snow day.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Everclear isn't food dammit
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
