Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I need to stop coming to work sober
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Let's paint friendship bongs
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
