i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
