Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
