is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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