For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
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just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
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drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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