well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
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