I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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