and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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