I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Randomize
