either way he was missing a nipple.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
