I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
