their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
