I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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