Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
There are leaves in my underwear?
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