come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
