Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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