Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He shit in the fireplace
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
