Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
