I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
