This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
