To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad