Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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