id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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