I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
