I smell stomach acid.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize