oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
