He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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