It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
