worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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