Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
