so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
