i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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