You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
