Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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