There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
