marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
