Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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