ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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