just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I think your dad took our porno
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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