he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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