In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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