I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize