He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize