Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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