when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
