Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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