If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
