On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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