Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
