Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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