did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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