threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
