I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize