Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
