I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
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