Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
