Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm sobbing to NWA
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize