You work out of a Hotel?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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