He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Randomize
