they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
