i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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