Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
He passed out mid-signature
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
