Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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