I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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